I recently saw a new music video by a band that I particularly enjoy listening to; they hold many fond memories for me, as well as melancholy, a sense of anticipation and a tiny bit of heart break too. When I watched this video it filled me with a sense of wonder and got me thinking about various things including memory and memories.
This music video was absolutely wonderful and I found myself at a real loss to stay neutral as I watched it, I couldn't help get swept up in the joy of it and what it reminded me of; it triggered so many memories and my senses were overloaded by sights, sounds and even smells (although smell-a-vision has yet to be invented). I know that it propbaly sounds daft that all of this was inspired by an mv, but it was interedting to me that such things can be powerful stimuli; this band, oddly, didn't make up a large part of this particular memory soundtrack, and this song doesn't even feature...so it got me thinking evenmore.
Although the mv was completely new to me, I felt like I had seen it before OR more aptly it was as if it spoke of things to come that only sub-consciously I have a handle on. Sometimes my sister and I will hear a song and, for some unknown reason, it sounds significant to us and the only thing that we can say is that it is "about somehting that hasn't happened yet" and this was one of these moments. It is as if something later on will happen and this song will be playing in my mind when it does. This prospect excites me because the song is very beautiful and optimistic and, so far, I can only dream of the wonders that will unfold!
Blessed be.
Thursday, 29 July 2010
Monday, 26 July 2010
Is it wrong to secretly want a 'Facebook-life' even when I despise those who post all their business on them? I don't think a blog is the same because I can choose to be anonymous and selective about what I post, but I want people to see that I have a very exciting life!!! What's wrong with me these days?
Monday, 19 July 2010
Yoga
Tonight I am going back to yoga...or rather I am taking up yoga again in a new place. The though of going back and having some 'me time' is absolutely thrilling! Even the thought of trying it again made me feel so much more complete; I honestly think that my subconscious was poking me, trying to get my attention to get me back on the mat- I kept seeing signs, leaflets and posters for it over a very concentrated period of time- I would see several in a few hours- I know that you might think that it is just chance but, whatever it was that is making me go back, I am sure-as-hell happy about it.
I cannot wait for the deliciousness of silence, the sublimity of me-time and the delight of being out of the house and away from essays that are taking so long that I do not care about them anymore; away, albeit briefly, from the people that I love but also complicate (and enrich) my life substantially...Hey! it is my perogative to need space.
I cannot wait for the deliciousness of silence, the sublimity of me-time and the delight of being out of the house and away from essays that are taking so long that I do not care about them anymore; away, albeit briefly, from the people that I love but also complicate (and enrich) my life substantially...Hey! it is my perogative to need space.
Friends, Lovers or Nothing...
It is never easy to break someone's heart, even if the breakage is small; just as when we break something in a shop, we will surely have to pay for breaking someone's heart, even if it is 'accidental.'
It sometimes seems to me that broken hearts are collateral for expressing your own feelings and being true to yourself. Is it wrong to revel in the relief you feel, knowing that someone else is hurting because of you, or have you handed over responsibility to God through doing what supports you? After all, we don't live any life but our own and so to continually compromise ourselves for the sake of someone that we care about, eventhough we care about them, is wrong, no?
I suppose nobody really wants to hear the phrase "Let's just be friends" but sometimes I wish that he would say it to me so I wouldn't have to say it to him. How can you turn someone down in a way that doesn't make you a hypocrite? "I really don't have time/space for a boyfriend at the moment," when all you really want to say is "I want a boyfriend, I just don't want you." Is it so wrong to reject someone then complain about wanting a boyfriend?
And, at the end of the day, when I don't want to be lovers but we were never friends, then what the hell are we?
Blessed be.
It sometimes seems to me that broken hearts are collateral for expressing your own feelings and being true to yourself. Is it wrong to revel in the relief you feel, knowing that someone else is hurting because of you, or have you handed over responsibility to God through doing what supports you? After all, we don't live any life but our own and so to continually compromise ourselves for the sake of someone that we care about, eventhough we care about them, is wrong, no?
I suppose nobody really wants to hear the phrase "Let's just be friends" but sometimes I wish that he would say it to me so I wouldn't have to say it to him. How can you turn someone down in a way that doesn't make you a hypocrite? "I really don't have time/space for a boyfriend at the moment," when all you really want to say is "I want a boyfriend, I just don't want you." Is it so wrong to reject someone then complain about wanting a boyfriend?
And, at the end of the day, when I don't want to be lovers but we were never friends, then what the hell are we?
Blessed be.
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