Friends, Lovers or Nothing...

It is never easy to break someone's heart, even if the breakage is small; just as when we break something in a shop, we will surely have to pay for breaking someone's heart, even if it is 'accidental.'
It sometimes seems to me that broken hearts are collateral for expressing your own feelings and being true to yourself. Is it wrong to revel in the relief you feel, knowing that someone else is hurting because of you, or have you handed over responsibility to God through doing what supports you? After all, we don't live any life but our own and so to continually compromise ourselves for the sake of someone that we care about, eventhough we care about them, is wrong, no?
I suppose nobody really wants to hear the phrase "Let's just be friends" but sometimes I wish that he would say it to me so I wouldn't have to say it to him. How can you turn someone down in a way that doesn't make you a hypocrite? "I really don't have time/space for a boyfriend at the moment," when all you really want to say is "I want a boyfriend, I just don't want you." Is it so wrong to reject someone then complain about wanting a boyfriend?
And, at the end of the day, when I don't want to be lovers but we were never friends, then what the hell are we?

Blessed be.